Achieving the Best We Can Be

A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
Benjamin Franklin

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Last week I told you about Maslow and his search for 'becoming the best we can be'. How do we go about it though ? Unfortunately there is no pill you can take that will turn you into a self-actualiser overnight, but there are some steps that you can take starting now that may lead you in the right direction:

Assess your life. Are you living a life that you find deeply rewarding and full of meaning for you ? This is not a "once-only" step. It's a question you'll need to ask yourself often. Am I working hard enough ? Am I wasting time when I ought to be moving nearer my goals ? If you want to be a doctor aim for at least your 7 A* at GCSE.
Assess your motives. Are you holding yourself back because of fear? Base your life choices on a desire to grow, rather than as a reaction to fear. Fear of failure can be very powerful - what if I try my best and I fail ? What is certain is that if you don't try your best you are MORE likely to fail.
Be willing to change. If your life isn't rewarding you'll need to be willing to change, willing to get off your backside and take a new direction. This is never easy for any of us but we need to be brave enough to say,'OK, I must do this'. I am diabetic and need cardiovascular exercise so I am going to go to the gym at least twice a week: a major change for me but a necessary one.
Take responsibility. This is really important we are all good at blaming other people or our circumstances: DON'T do it. We are all responsible for our own behaviour and achievement. Don't expect others to make changes for you. If you feel you're not learning enough get some books and papers and teach yourself. It's your life and its up to you to make the necessary changes that will lead to YOUR fulfillment.
Cherish your uniqueness. Be prepared to break away from the herd and be different. Don't be afraid to follow your impulses. Never do something because other people are doing it and you want to be 'cool'. Do what you think is right for you.
Realise your dreams. Instead of wallowing in wishful thinking, write down your goals and take the appropriate action to achieve them.
Accept your fallibility. Be willing to say, "I was wrong." Be honest with yourself and with others. We all fail at something instead of blaming others we ought to get back right in there -if at first you don't succeed...
Learn from your good experiences. Try to repeat an experience that you found deeply meaningful or awe-inspiring or that lead to feelings of excitement, ecstasy, humility or personal fulfillment. I used to enjoy walking and hiking in the hills and mountains or visiting museums and art galleries; feed your soul.Read poetry, ride your bike, run the race -you get the idea.
Join in. Get involved in life. Become an active member of your community. Very important in school. You have the privilege of many clubs and sports. Join in our discussions at the Psych. Club you may find them enjoyable.
Look for the good in others. Every one of us has good points and bad. All too often we overlook the good and focus on the bad. Get into the habit of looking for the good in others.OK, It's easier to say than to do but if we try and move the focus from ourselves and our own feelings we can get quite a shock - me too!
Assess your progress. Take the time to reflect on all that you've accomplished as well as to honestly assess how you can do more to improve your life and the lives of those around you. You may even as the great Ben Franklin did keep a diary to see how you're getting on in your scheme for self-improvement: try it.He was probably one of the best self-actualisers who has ever lived.