Resilience Be a Winner!

Resilience...Be a Winner!
Bouncing back... the harder you’re hit the harder you bounce back. Resilience is something that we all need and sometimes it takes real effort and courage.Research has shown that overcoming adversity is something that all children will do, to a greater or lesser extent. Those who are most resilient share similar characteristics and provide insight into how resilience can be cultivated in young people.
The development of resilience is none other than the process of healthy human development

Even for the best-cared for child, the world can seem full of adversity. Think back to some of the big challenges in your life: your first day at school, establishing friendships, your performance for the school sports team, your role in the Christmas pantomime, sitting tests, secondary school – then it starts all over again. Other major challenges for young people include coping with introductions to alcohol, drugs and sex. So, many major issues where we all need to show a degree of grit and resilience.

We’ve all made mistakes in some or all of those areas, but those who bounce back, dust themselves off and start all over again are the ones with resilience. ‘Getting it right’ and appearing ‘cool’ are very important to young people – and any form of failure can be a major set-back.

Research reveals that young people who have most resilience often share certain characteristics such as having:
• A support network in the shape of family, friends, colleagues, teachers etc
• Confidence that they can face up to new and challenging situations
• Enjoyed previous successes on which they can fall back on to remind them that they have overcome adversity in the past.
• Self-esteem where they know NOT to blame themselves.
Resilient children display the following characteristics:

Social competence
They are more responsive than non-resilient children; they bring out more positive responses from others; they are more active and adaptable than other children, even in infancy. Other attributes include a sense of humour (including the ability to laugh at themselves), empathy, caring and communication skills. As a result, they find it easier to form friendships. Studies of young people who face problems with drugs and alcohol reveal that they often lack friends and social competence.

Problem solving skills
The capacity for abstract thought, reflection, flexibility and a willingness to attempt alternative solutions are all signs of resilience. Research into some of the most disadvantaged youngsters in the world – street children – reveals strong planning skills if they are to survive the daily dangers and setbacks that life throws at them.

Autonomy
This about the ability to have a sense of your own identity, the capacity to act independently, and to exert some control over your environment. This is especially important for children living in dysfunctional families where drug addiction, alcohol abuse and mental illness make life very tough. The ability to separate themselves psychologically from their dysfunctional family, to see themselves as separate from their parents illnesses or addictions, or behaviours, gives such children a buffer that can allow them to continue their own development. Psychologists call this ‘adaptive distancing.’

A sense of purpose and future
Ambitions, goals, a desire for achievement, motivation, a desire for educational success, a belief that things will be better in the future, all of these are part of the make-up of the resilient child. Children with a strong ambition – such as achieving sporting excellence – are more able to resist peer pressure to experiment with drugs and alcohol. In a school like ours which encourages self-reliance and success every student can be a winner.

Werner & Smith, who carried out a 35-year study into resilience in children, summed up their findings by saying: 'The central component of effective coping with the multiplicity of inevitable life stresses appears to be a sense of coherence, a feeling of confidence that one's internal and external environment is predictable and that things will probably work out as well as can be reasonably expected.' (1982).

And they point out that the above attributes are the direct opposite of the ‘learned helplessness’ so often found in people suffering from mental illness or social problems. Other factors linked to resilience include being healthy and being female, since girls generally are more likely to show resilience than boys.

Our resilience level can be significantly enhanced, or depressed, by the attitudes of the people around us. If we believe that we can change our behaviour and that that we will do better then we will. Decide to be a winner now !