Trashing Teens

Does society under estimate the abilities and coping capacities of teenagers ? Does society now place too many restrictions on them ? I'm sure St.helen's girls will have strong opinions on this subject.Psychologist Robert Epstein argues in a provocative book, "The Case Against Adolescence," that teens are far more competent than adults assume, and most of their problems stem from  the restrictions placed on them. This is a recent article from Psychology Today. People of my age (63) notice that young people remain juvenile into their twenties an age when most of us had jobs, mortgages and or/children.

Psychologist Robert Epstein spoke to Psychology Today's Hara Estroff Marano about the legal and emotional constraints youth.
HEM: Why do you believe that adolescence is an artificial extension of childhood?
RE: In every mammalian species, immediately upon reaching puberty, animals function as adults, often having offspring. We call our offspring "children" well past puberty. The trend started a hundred years ago and now extends childhood well into the 20s. The age at which Americans reach adulthood is increasing—30 is the new 20—and most Americans now believe a person isn't an adult until age 26.

The whole culture collaborates in artificially extending childhood, primarily through the school system and restrictions on labour. The two systems evolved together in the late 19th-century; the advocates of compulsory-education laws also pushed for child-labour laws, restricting the ways young people could work, in part to protect them from the abuses of the new factories. The juvenile justice system came into being at the same time. All of these systems isolate teens from adults, often in problematic ways.
Our current education system was created in the late 1800s and early 1900s, and was modelled after the new factories of the industrial revolution. State schools set up to supply the factories with a skilled labour force, crammed education into a relatively small number of years. We have tried to pack more and more in while extending schooling up to age 24 or 25, for some segments of the population. In general, such an approach still reflects factory thinking—get your education now and get it efficiently, in classrooms in lockstep fashion. Unfortunately, most people learn in those classrooms to hate education for the rest of their lives.
The factory system doesn't work in the modern world, because two years after graduation, whatever you learned is out of date. We need education spread over a lifetime, not jammed into the early years—except for such basics as reading, writing, and perhaps citizenship. Past puberty, education needs to be combined in interesting and creative ways with work. The factory school system no longer makes sense.
What are some likely consequences of extending one's childhood?
Imagine what it would feel like—or think back to what it felt like—when your body and mind are telling you you're an adult while the adults around you keep insisting you're a child. This infantilization makes many young people angry or depressed, with their distress carrying over into their families and contributing to our high divorce rate. It's hard to keep a marriage together when there is constant conflict with teens.
We have completely isolated young people from adults and created a peer culture. We stick them in school and keep them from working in any meaningful way, and if they do something wrong we put them in a pen with other "children." In most nonindustrialized societies, young people are integrated into adult society as soon as they are capable, and there is no sign of teen turmoil. Many cultures do not even have a term for adolescence. But we not only created this stage of life: We declared it inevitable. In 1904, American psychologist G. Stanley Hall said it was programmed by evolution. He was wrong.
How is adolescent behavior shaped by societal strictures?
One effect is the creation of a new segment of society just waiting to consume, especially if given money to spend. There are now massive industries—music, clothing, makeup—that revolve around this artificial segment of society and keep it going, with teens spending upward of $200 billion a year almost entirely on trivia.
Ironically, because minors have only limited property rights, they don't have complete control over what they have bought. Think how bizarre that is. If you, as an adult, spend money and bring home a toy, it's your toy and no one can take it away from you. But with a 14-year-old, it's not really his or her toy. Young people can't own things, can't sign contracts, and they can't do anything meaningful without parental permission—permission that can be withdrawn at any time. They can't marry, can't have sex, can't legally drink. The list goes on. They are restricted and infantilized to an extraordinary extent.
In recent surveys I've found that American teens are subjected to more than 10 times as many restrictions as mainstream adults, twice as many restrictions as active-duty U.S. Marines, and even twice as many as incarcerated felons. Psychologist Diane Dumas and I also found a correlation between infantilization and psychological dysfunction. The more young people are infantilized, the more psychopathology they show.
What's more, since 1960, restrictions on teens have been accelerating. Young people are restricted in ways no adult would be—for example, in some states they are prohibited from entering tanning salons or getting tattoos.
You believe in the inherent competence of teens. What's your evidence?
Dumas and I worked out what makes an adult an adult. We came up with 14 areas of competency—such as interpersonal skills, handling responsibility, leadership—and administered tests to adults and teens in several cities around the country. We found that teens were as competent or nearly as competent as adults in all 14 areas. But when adults estimate how teens will score, their estimates are dramatically below what the teens actually score.


Well, you've read some of the evidence and ideas - what do you think ? Are we over-protective of teen agers ?

Evidence from Research on SNS

These are comments from the actual 2011 research into teen behaviour on SNS sites. Notice how people feel free to write what they like, no matter how cruel, and how this frequently can lead to physical violence. The first statement is about a boy whose Facebook page was full of homophobic messages. "Yeah, and, like, a bunch of people from this school, like, attacked his page and, like, wrote really, really homophobic things on it." Often teens felt bolder, ruder, or more empowered because they did not fear physical violence in the online space. One middle school girl told us that she thought people were ruder online “because you can’t hurt anybody online. You can’t punch nobody through the screen.” MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL 1. “I think I act ruder to online people. MODERATOR. You act ruder? How come? MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL 2. Because she doesn’t have to see them, so they can’t beat her up.” For some teens we spoke with – particularly middle school girls – fights and drama on social media flowed back and forth between school, the street, and Facebook, often resulting in physical fights during the in-person portions of the conflict. MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL: I read what they were talking about online, then I go offline and confront the person who was saying something to her. MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRL: …Like that’s how most people start fighting because that’s how most of the fights in my school happen – because of some Facebook stuff, because of something you post, or like because somebody didn’t like your pictures. One middle school girl detailed the circular flow of conflict between her social network site and her in-person life, and the ways that she, at her mother’s behest, tries to break the cycle. “…the other day, Monday, I was not cool with somebody and so they tried to put on their status something about me. But I didn’t reply to that because my mother told me not to say nothing back because she didn’t want anything more to happen.” She further explains a physical fight she was supposed to have and the ways in which others taunted her offline and online about her allegedly skipping out on the conflict. She describes her attempts to ignore online comments made about her “ducking” the fight, until the taunting escalated to insulting her friend. Again, I would be interested in your comments ?

Noureen on the Net

Some thoughtful views of Noureen on the Net.I have often heard people discuss friends on SNS and say they are "loud on facebook" but not always loud in person. Maybe it is not a way for people to cyber bully others, but its a way of communication where people feel it is easier for them to speak up. Some people are shy in person but active users of SNS at home, in their comfort zones. Others, however, may be cruel to others on SNS without realising it. For example, many young teens like to "tag" people on photos to see "who is your smartest friend?" or "who is your shortest friend" and some people may find this offensive. Because of the advances of SNS, bullying could multiply after one person encourages it. People can 're-tweet' and share what their friends have already written so more and more people can see their posts. This multiplying effect may be how bullying can turn into such a wide-spread act, by a simple click. I can personally say that I have seen cruelty on SNS, usually written as sarcasm, which is all the more worse. Nonetheless, SNS bring out the people who stand up for each other so SNS can bring many people together. Noureen

Nice v Nasty The Net and Us

Many of us are members of social networking sites such as Facebook. It can be a good way of keeping in touch with our friends and sharing information. However, a study last year, 2011, looked at how often people saw mean or cruel comments compared with generous and helpful ones. This is especially important at the moment because of the prevalence of cyber bullying which can be very harmful to those subjected to it. Do people feel free to say things on Facebook they would never say face to face ? Some people hide behind nicknames and keep their profile anonymous. Is it best to leave SNS alone and read a good book ? SNS means ‘social networking sites. I want to have a closer look at this study because its findings are relevant to all of us. Adult SNS users were asked a question that did not appear in the teen survey: “When you’re on a social networking site, how often do you see people being generous or helpful?” Some 39% of adult SNS users said they frequently saw acts of generosity, 36% said they sometimes saw it, 18% said they saw it “only once in a while” and 5% said they never saw it. The SNS users who were most likely to say they frequently saw people being generous or helpful included whites (41%), college graduates (45%), and those living in households earning $75,000 and above (46%). This was an American study and these results showed that people who were white, well-educated and relatively well-paid saw less cruelty than others. Why might other groups be more likely to be cruel to each other ? When it came to unpleasant behaviour on SNS, adults have seen their share, but it tends to be evident to them far less frequently than it is to teen SNS users. Both groups were asked the same question: “When you’re on a social networking site, how often do you see people being mean or cruel?” Some 49% of SNS-using adults said they saw mean or cruel behaviour displayed by others at least occasionally, far lower than the 88% of SNS-using teens who said they had seen mean or cruel behaviour at some point. Moreover, 29% of SNS-using adults said they had never seen mean or cruel behaviour on the sites, compared with 11% of teens who said they had never seen it. Social network site users reported quite similar rates of witnessing mean and cruel behaviour as their younger peers in the teen cohort: 9% of SNS-users said they frequently saw mean and cruel behavior; 25% of them see it sometimes; 48% see it “only once in a while”; and 16% said they had never see it. Frequent users – those who use SNS at least once a day – are also more likely to see mean or cruel behaviour more often. So why is it that teens are use Facebook to be cruel to each other on a wide scale ? Is it because it’s used as another way of bullying people who are bullied at school ? I would be interested in your comments – you can contact me on school email. Dr.Brown.

A Sense of Unimportance

A Sense of Unimportance I’m going to write today about humility. It’s not highly regarded as a virtue and can remind us of the hypocritical Uriah Heep who was “ever so ‘umble” while being just the opposite, or those who live in the background and never put themselves forward. Winston Churchill cruelly remarked, when someone said the then Prime minister Clement Attlee was a humble man “...he has a lot to be humble about.” So, dull and unmemorable: is that what humility means? As a psychologist I find it a fascinating topic because it is quite rare and I have found it most in people who have other positive qualities to their lives including kindness and generosity. I first started to think about it when, many years ago, I was teaching in a convent school and Sister Mary Christa, asked me to take a school assembly on St. Joseph the husband of Mary and the natural father of Jesus. I scratched my head, he didn’t do much , how could I spread a man who had a bit part in nativity plays over half an hour ? Then I thought that is precisely it: Joseph never sought the limelight, he accepted Mary’s explanation of her pregnancy and became his legal father. Of course, there are those who will think him a fool for doing this but Joseph believed the promises of God. It taught me a lot about humility, so often we don’t listen to others because we want to put our point of view across. We talk endlessly about ourselves and our possessions and our successes in life. We hardly ever talk about when we have been depressed , or broken, or have failed. For our psychological health we need a sense of our self-unimportance and a sense of humour to mock our ambitions and pretensions. Our character is formed from self-knowledge and facing challenges that really test us, not from boasting and exaggerating our achievements. The importance of humility is that we can put our own needs into perspective, "If I could buy that man for what he is worth and sell him for what he thinks he is worth I could make a fortune!"

EXAM' NERVES ?

I don’t need to tell you that we are now in the exam’ season. The RBH will be full of people with their heads down writing furiously in a few more days .I have already had emails concerning difficult topics to revise and requests for notes on alternatives. It’s not a good idea to decide now that some topics are just too hard to revise so I’ll mug up another one. So why do we panic at exam’ time and what can we do about it ? Almost everyone feels nervous before an exam. Butterflies in the stomach and worrying thoughts - 'Will I be able to answer the questions?' 'Have I done enough revision?' - are indications of exam nerves that are probably familiar to all students. In fact, a certain amount of nervous tension probably helps us perform to the best of our ability, producing a rush of adrenaline that helps us to feel alert and focused. But too much anxiety can BLOCK thoughts, create a negative frame of mind, and lead to panic and potentially poor exam performance. There are a number of things you can do to help manage exam anxiety and turn uncomfortable, panicky thoughts into more creative tension. Before the exam It's hard to panic if you are feeling relaxed. Try to establish a pattern of revision that gives you time to relax, especially last thing at night. Experiment until you find the best way of relaxing to suit you - a long bath, exercise, listening to music, a relaxation tape available in all good health shops. Relaxation and positive stress management techniques can be learned and acquired with practice – remember my advice on swimming ? Knowing how to relax is invaluable in the lead-up to exams, and on the day itself. If you think you are under-performing in exams due to exam anxiety or panic, do think ahead and seek help. It helps to feel as well-prepared as possible. As well as thinking about the subjects you are revising, it can be useful to pay attention to practical aspects of the exam. Find out where it is scheduled to take place and how long it will take you to get there. It's a good idea to go and look at the room so that it feels more familiar. This is true even of one you use every day like the RBH. Make sure you know the rules and regulations about what you can take into the exam room etc. Put yourself into a positive frame of mind by imagining how you would LIKE things to go. Imagine yourself turning up for the exam feeling confident and relaxed - try to picture it in as much detail as possible. Rather like rehearsing for a part in a play, this can replace negative, anxious thoughts with more positive ones. Don't work to the last minute on the night or morning before the exam. Last-minute revision may leave you feeling muddled and anxious. In the exam Here are some tried and tested remedies to the 'I can't answer anything' feeling and other worrying thoughts about exams. When you get into the exam room and sit down, the following approach can help settle your nerves: Take a deep breath in and a long breath out Breathe in again and straighten your back - as if someone were pulling a lever between your shoulder blades Look straight ahead at something inanimate (the wall, a picture, the clock...) and focus your mind on the positive thought 'I CAN DO this exam' as you breathe out. Take another deep breath in and a long breath out. Then breathe normally. You have some minutes to read the paper, so do so thoroughly. If you begin to feel panicky again, repeat the focusing exercise. Panicking will stop you reading carefully, so it is important to keep yourself focused and positive. Read the whole paper once, then read it again and mark the questions you think you can answer. Then read those questions carefully - make sure you understand what is required - and select the ones you are going to answer. Decide on the order in which you'll answer the questions. It is usually best to begin with the one you feel most confident about. Think about how you will plan your time, and stick to your plan. Plan out your answer for each question as you go. If you find that thoughts or ideas about other questions come into your head, jot them down on a separate piece of paper - don't spend time thinking about them now. Many people don’t plan – if your thoughts are dis-organised it shows. If your concentration wanders or you begin to feel panicky, you could try the focusing exercise again, or use one of the following techniques to help you overcome anxious thoughts. If you are worried that you haven't got time to spare on this, remember that taking 5 or 10 minutes may save you spending the rest of the exam in a state of panic. Anxiety management techniques Thought-stopping technique When we become anxious we begin to have negative thoughts ('I can't answer anything', 'I'm going to panic' etc). If this is happening, halt the spiralling thoughts by mentally shouting 'STOP!'. Or picture a road STOP sign, or traffic lights on red. Once you have literally stopped the thoughts, you can continue planning, or practise a relaxation technique. Creating very mild pain Pain effectively overrides all other thoughts and impulses. Even very mild pain - such as lightly pressing your fingernails into your palm - can block feelings of anxiety. Some people find it helpful to place an elastic band around one wrist, and lightly twang it when they are becoming anxious. Use a mantra Derived from meditation, a mantra is a word or phrase which you repeat to yourself. Saying something like 'calm' or 'relax' under your breath or in your head, over and over again, can help defuse anxiety. Focusing Looking out of the window, noticing the number of people with red hair, counting the number of desks in each row... all help to distract your attention from anxious thoughts and keep your mind busy. Mental games such as making words out of another word or title, using alphabetical lists etc are all good forms of distraction. Bridging objects It can help to carry or wear something with positive associations with another person or place. Touching this bridging object can be comforting in its own right, then allow yourself a few minutes to think about the person or situation which makes you feel good. This can have a really calming effect. Self-talk In exam anxiety or panic we often give ourselves negative messages, 'I can't do this' 'I'm going to fail' 'I'm useless'. Try to consciously replace these with positive, encouraging thoughts: 'This is just anxiety, it can't harm me', 'Relax, concentrate, it's going to be OK', 'I'm getting there, nearly over'. Whichever of the distraction techniques has worked for you, finish by going through the refocusing exercise (it only takes 30 seconds or so, but may have a profound effect on your ability to believe in yourself and the task in hand). Different techniques work for different people, so it's worth experimenting to find the ones that are right for you. Developing techniques for managing panic can take time, so it pays to keep practising. And GOOD LUCK 

REVISION!

REVISION Dos and don’ts DO – revise in short bursts. Your brain has an attention span of 20 minutes and then it starts to switch off. Revise for 20 minutes then have a break of at least 10 minutes. An ideal plan is as follows: Organise – 5 minutes Revise – 20 minutes Set questions on what you have revised – 5 minutes Go away (watch TV, sing, dance – NO COMPUTER or MOBILE) Come back after 10 minutes – answer the questions you set Look at how much you managed to remember and look up the stuff you didn’t know Consolidate – summarise into bullet points / pictures / poster what you learned Don’t come back to this topic today! If you do this kind of revision for THREE topics in one revision session, you should then have a break of at least TWO hours before you start revising again. DON’T – don’t confuse quantity with quality – you can spend a whole day revising solidly and it will not be as effective. The brain gets tired and the mind gets bored. You will find yourself easily distracted and will get tired quicker. This may lead to you feeling that you have ‘ticked the box’ for revision but you have not actually learned anything! Use your time more effectively for effective learning. DO – look after yourself. Revising is hard work and you need to keep your body and brain fed and watered if you want it to work for you. The brain uses a lot more calories in the form of pure glucose and this can leave you dehydrated and unable to concentrate. You should aim to drink glucose drinks (safely!) and eat sugary foods while you are revising- but not too much! This should only be for a short space of time as the sugar drop after two hours will leave you unable to concentrate – you should then eat carbohydrates and drink plenty of water or sugar free drinks to restore your body’s sugar balance. Do not follow this advice if you have underlying health issues (e.g. diabetes, hypoglycaemia, food intolerance etc.) DON’T –don’t drink high energy drinks or caffeine based drinks (Kick, coffee, Red Bull) – these will not help you to revise. The concentration of glucose is too high and the brain will become over stimulated making you easily bored and easily distracted. DO – revising is stressful and you often do not see the effects of the stress that you are under. Your body is being exposed to steroids and hormones that you are unaware of – exam stress is constant and underlying all of your thoughts regardless of whether you are feeling prepared or not! Your glands are releasing cortisol and adrenalin and these are both having harmful effects on your body and mind. You need to counteract this by forcing yourself to relax – the two best ways to combat stress of a mental nature are through physical activity and water. Going for a run, a fast walk, a bike ride or simply running up and down the stairs a few times in between topics when revising will work miracles! If you are revising with a friend, find a physical activity that you can both do – it should only last for about 10 minutes otherwise it will be counterproductive as prolonged exercise will release hormones to make you sleep! The other way to beat stress is through water – a soak in the bath, standing in a hot shower or simply getting the washing up liquid, a whisk and some jugs and playing in the sink for 20 minutes will restore your relaxation. Water is excellent for stress – trust the thousands of generations that have gone before you and treat yourself to some Radox! Obviously swimming combines water and exercise and is the ultimate stress releaser. Swimming is the ideal stress buster and we have a pool on site...go figure! DON’T – try not to add to your body’s stress by giving it more toxins to deal with. Smoking and alcohol will put your body under physical stress when it is trying to cope with the mental stress of revising and exam pressure. No one who takes their health seriously should smoke or drink (if they are over 18) to excess. DO – use your brain! You have learned about memory – use that knowledge to get the best grade!! You know that smells, different places and moods will help you to remember. You also know that the more you process the information, the more you remember. I have discussed memory in a previous blog. You also know that if the information is meaningful (semantic processing) you will remember it more! Use this information – process your notes. Reading them over is STRUCTURAL processing – the worst kind for revision! The more you change the information, the more it will be rehearsed and transfer into the long term memory. Use all of your senses – make your notes colourful, use certain smells for certain difficult topics, draw pictures or act out research, use phonetic processing – speak your notes out loud, preferably in a different accent. Trust me – these do work! Work hard now and it will mean less in the summer….